Rohan paced back and fourth in his room, his heart filled with guilt. "come on... phone utha yr" he murmured.

"Rohan kya hua kyu pagla rha hai?", Aziza said entering the house

"voh... Ayaan ummm voh cockroach Naina ayi thi aaj? usne ayaan ke bare me kuch kha?"

"Nhi.. corckroach.. I mean Naina nhi ayi thi aur voh cockroach nhi h. Kya hua??"

"Yar mai bilkul bhul gya ki aaj Ayaan ko present krna tha... voh nervous ho jata hai. He would have been waiting for me. Ab phone bhi nhi utha rha hai."

"hmmm... mujhe mila tha voh."

"hain? Kaisa gya uska moot court??"

"acha nhi gya he got nervous, bohot sad tha but I talked to him, he has got a chance to present tomorrow."

"thank u thank you sooo mucchh!! mujhe ita bura lg rha tha ki voh akela hoga."

"Hmm, baat krlena usse ek bar lekin"

"Ayaann... fianlly phone utha liyaaa, are u okay? i'm soo sorry yaar mere dimag se ekdum nikal gya"

"are.. aree shanti,sas andarrr lo saass bharr loo, I'm fine Aziza helped me, and tu kal ajana tera murder thodi kruga so chill." Ayaan replied, still bubbling with happiness from earlier events.

"aaj bada kush lgra h, pehli baar ladki se baat krli kya? bhen h meri"

"hat yr marja"

***

"or bhai aaj kaisa hai all ready?" Rohan asked Ayaan as they waited for their turns to be called

Naina and Aziza entered the same hall walking towards the two boys anxiously rattafying thier case.

"Ayaan..."Aziza called out in a small voice. He gazed up in response but was cautious to not look for too long

"All the best! you will do great... don't be nervous"

"mai bhi hu yaha!" Rohan cried

"tum jaise logo ko all the best ki nhi Rest in peace ki zarurat hai kyuki koi kaam toh tumse hoga nhi" Naina scoffed

"are lo tumhe bhi all the best" Aziza said pulling his cheeks

"baccha nhi hu mai hat" he said yanking her hands away.

***

"Ahh... aaj ki class iti boring thi na, mai toh thak gyi bhai sabh!", Naina wined

"haan such me kya boli ja rhi thi yr ma'am bilkul kuch samajh nhi aya"

"Padhoge nhi toh samajh kha se ayega" Ayaan said smaking Naina's head

"aap toh rehne do, topper khi ke"

"tum log ki presentation kaisi gyi" Aziza asked with a warm smile

"bohot hi badiya, aag laga di vha" Rohan shouted

"Acha gaya aaj", Ayaan said reassuring Aziza

Even though, it was not her presentation looking at him all happy about it, made her feel proud and relived like it was her achievement.

"ye kya h Aziza tere bag me, pehle kya hum kam padhte h jo tune novels bhi rakhi hui h" Naina said

" aree mere bag me kyu jhak rhi hai, aur mujhe novels padhna pasand hai"

"are bhai esse dur rho, murder wali novels padhti h pakka pta hoga esse hi body kha chupani hai marke" Naina joked making everyone chuckle.

Meanwhile Ayaan, took out his little notepad and stared writing something. What was he writing? God knows.

***

⚠️ TRRIGER WARNING ~ contains content about suicide

Night was still, and moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft, silvery glow over the room. The world outside seemed peaceful, quiet-the only sound was the occasional rustle of the wind through the trees. Yet, in her small, dimly lit room, Aziza lay wide awake, her body restless beneath the covers. Her breathing was shallow, heart racing, as the haunting images of the past gripped her mind. She had tried to sleep, tried to escape, but the nightmare refused to release its hold on her. It wasn't a monster or a creature that haunted her; it was the unbearable memory of her mother's tragic death. The image of her mother, broken and lifeless, replayed over and over again in her mind. The guilt, the feeling of helplessness-it was suffocating.

14th July 2009, the day she came home from school fighting with Rohan over her chocolate which he stole. but... that day, instead of her mother sitting outside in sun she found her mother's lifeless body hanging from the fan. While, Rohan cried his heart out, screaming as he stared at his mother. Aziza stood frozen, oceans of tears flowing endlessly beacuse she knew something that the other did not. she had read something no one else had. Their mother had left each of them a letter.

Aziza's mind kept drifting back to the moment everything shattered, when she lost the most important person in her life. The world outside her window was quiet, serene, but her thoughts were loud, chaotic, an unrelenting storm of pain and regret. She tossed and turned, unable to find rest, unable to escape the ghosts of the past.

She pushed the blankets off and rushed to the balcony, her bare feet slapping against the cold hardwood floor. Her hands trembled as she gripped the railing, looking down at the darkness below.

Her mind screamed at her to step forward, to end it all, to escape this never-ending torment. She stood there for a moment, trembling, caught between the darkness inside her and the stillness of the world around her. Her eyes were dry from crying earlier, but now they stung with fresh tears as the floodgates opened once again.

But just as she felt herself slipping, something inside her snapped. She took one small, trembling step back from the edge. The tears flowed freely now, her entire body shaking with the force of it. Her knees gave way, and she collapsed on the cold tiles of the balcony floor, her hands clutching at the railing as her sobs echoed into the night.

It was not the first time this happened, once before she had tried killing herself when her mother went away leaving her in pure dismay, everything felt too much, everyone seemed too loud. A part of her hates her mother for leaving here just like that, while the other think if only she had talked to her... if only she would have told her father what she read, maybe her mother would still be here... maybe its all her fault.

SOUL'S COFESSION:

I despise the person I have become

silent and numb,

I'm dangerous,

my heart is poisonous

hurting everyone around me,

even the ones who love me

I'm lost in the smoke of grey

sometimes I feel like I'm the prey

and something I feel like I made them the prey

I hate her for what she did

she thought it was okay to leave me alone

in a place where I would choke

My life so dull and broke, without her

she still choose to leave me in a slur.

My soul's confession is ...

I fear... I fear I'm the devil

hurting the angels so pure, A painful truth I can't ignore

It's all true isn't it?

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